Hey ya’ll. Sorry for the unannounced break. Last Monday, I made the very hard decision to put my dog Pixie to sleep. Without going into too much detail, she’s been sick the past month or so and it reached a point where she was in frequent distress. The condition she had would make it hard for her to breath, then after a chest tap to drain the fluid that kept accumulating, she would be perfectly fine for a few days, then the fluid would come back and she couldn’t breath again. After every possible test, the cause of the fluid accumulation could not be determined, and the only treatment option was to remove the fluid. She started off being able to go about 10 days between chest taps, but after each one, the time between became less and less. At the end she was only able to go one day, and that’s how I knew it was time to day goodbye.
I had Pixie for over 10 years, and together, we’ve gone through a lot over the years. She was my first dog, and aside from the guniea pig I had growing up, the first pet I’ve lost. A week ago today, we spent the day doing all of Pixie’s favorite things. I knew the end was near, and I wanted to give her some last happy memories outside of the vet’s office. It was a “good” day for her which was becoming fewer and fewer. Pixie loved to be outside. One of her favorite things to do was to go to the dog park that overlooks the East River near our apartment and play with all her doggy friends. We started our day off there where she pranced around, carefully selected her “boyfriend of the day”, and spent time sitting on my lap surveying her puppy kingdom of which she was the queen. Then we moved on and spent some time relaxing on a big blanket in the park under the shade of a big tree. Trying to soak in every moment, we snapped some photos with her, and then Pixie decided she wanted to go walk around. You have to understand, Pixie loved to be outside, but she hated to walk. She always walked for about a block, and then had what we affectionately called a “sit down strike”, where she refused to move until you scooped her up and carried her. But this time she walked. And walked. And then walked some more. Her and I walked around the park together, just the two of us, for a good hour. Every time I tried to steer her back towards the blanket, she would refuse to walk in that direction and take off the other way. I couldn’t believe it. I think she knew what was going on, and this long walk she took me on, sharing this time, was her last gift to me.
It’s been a hard week, and obviously I’m still very sad, but thinking about that day and looking through these photos brings a smile to my face. So, I thought I would share them here in the hopes that they make you smile too, even if you didn’t personally know Pixie.
“You know that place between sleep and awake? The place where you can still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you. That’s where I’ll be waiting.”
-Tinkerbell
Be free my little pixie fairy <3
-Ashley xx